


The Perils of Drinking

by katling



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cassandra is So Done, Cassandra is a good bro, Drunkenness, M/M, Pining, Poor Cullen, Sass, she doesn't save cullen, the ladies are drinking, they talk about dorian, they've decided he needs sorting out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8827903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: This came from a prompt post over on my tumblr. The prompt was: “This is girl talk, so leave.” It's kind of pre-Cullrian.
The Inquisitor proposes a dinner with her Advisors to get to know them better. Somehow this devolves into far too much alcohol and attention turning to Cullen's love life... or lack thereof. Cassandra walks into this and does her best for Cullen - she leaves.





	

Cullen was not quite sure how he’d managed to get into his current situation. It had started out innocently enough with the Inquisitor suggesting a dinner with her Advisors so they could get to know each other better. Cullen had readily agreed. Things had changed since haven and with Evelyn Trevelyan now being named Inquisitor, it made sense for them to get to know each other better so they could work well together. Leliana and Josephine had obviously agreed and the dinner had gone ahead.

Josephine had brought along a number of very good bottles of Antivan wine and by the time Cullen realised anything had gone slightly astray, a fair number of those bottles were empty and Evelyn (as she had insisted on being called), Leliana and Josephine were six sheets to the wind and Cullen was the only sober one in the room. _He_ was only on his second glass of wine for the evening. Excessive drinking had never been his style and now it was an even worse idea. A hangover and his withdrawal did _not_ mix in any way, shape or form.

“Now, Commander… Cullen!” Evelyn said, levelling the finger of doom, as Josephine had started calling it, at him. “We need to talk.”

“Do we?” Cullen said warily.

“Yes!” she said. “We need to talk about your obvious crush on Dorian and what we’re going to do about it.”

“No, we don’t,” Cullen said, blushing furiously. “Because there is no crush and nothing needs to be done.”

“Ha!” Leliana said, grinning wickedly at him. “I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

Cullen’s blush deepened. “There is no crush,” he repeated firmly.

“But you do like him, don’t you?” Josephine said, leaning forward with a smile. Her accent had thickened as the wine had been consumed by the ladies.

“I… that’s…” Cullen bit off whatever he was trying to say since he wasn’t having much success with it.

“Of course he does,” Leliana said firmly. “He watches him like a doe-eyed boy.”

“I do _not_!” Cullen protested indignantly. His blush, which had been fading, now deepened again.

“Your blush says otherwise,” Evelyn said, waggling her finger at him. She leaned forward in a conspiratorial manner. “It’s alright, Cullen. He’s _awfully_ fond of you too. He _always_ manages to find a reason to talk about you when we’re out and about.”

Cullen’s attempt at finding an answer that didn’t make him sound like a stuttering schoolboy was interrupted by the arrival of Cassandra. She looked at the bottles of wine, the obviously inebriated women and the blushing Cullen and sighed heavily.

“What are you doing?”

“Cassandra,” Evelyn said with an attempt at being authoritarian that was only marginally affected her state of inebriation. “This is girl talk, so leave.”

Cassandra raised an eyebrow then looked over at Josephine and Leliana’s giggling and the way Cullen was trying to mouth the words ‘ _help me_ ’ without any of the ladies noticing and she very firmly smothered the smile that was threatening to break free.

“Very well,” she said, turning on her heel quickly so that she could grin at Cullen’s betrayed expression without anyone seeing her.

As she made her way out of the room, she distinctly heard the Inquisitor say, “Now, Cullen, we have to make plans for your wooing of Dorian because if _anyone_ needs to get laid, it’s _you_.” 

She then very quietly closed the door on the sounds of Cullen’s spluttering and began to laugh.


End file.
